My only friend outside of the internet came to me in a time of need last night. Depressed and broken, she was screaming for attention in her daily life and received none. The people around her could not fathom how hurt she was and even if they could, did not care. Not even her parents. How can some of us be so self-absorbed that we cannot see someone's sanity ripping at the seams? We're conditioned to assume people's problems are their own to deal with. Personal issues. Private life.

I thought this way too. I saw that something in her life was wrong but never brought it up in fear that she would get offended or embarrassed. I'm only happy she came to me and I am upset with myself that I did not express concern before. I listened to hear her rant about Basquiat, eating disorders, and an uncertain future. I listened to her talk for two hours about a dream project. We watched clips of Dragon Ball Z and other stupid things. She invited me to Fed Hill for Halloween where she will be Xena and I'll be Gabrielle.

Then she started repeating herself... and babbling.

She broke down. She expressed a desire to die and that she did things to hurt herself because, "It's funny." It was hard to understand. I thought I was dreaming... And then I started to bawl. I couldn't imagine my life without her. My only friend who is within arm's reach. My only friend who listened when I couldn't handle the awful, inhuman people I was dealing with at my last school. How they did not see that I was constantly wounded with the lack of tight-knit community intimacy that I had in high school. How my boyfriend at the time did not give a fuck if he left me alone in his boring-ass apartment for 12 hours at a time while he played WoW on the couch. No one cared that I was depressed. I was nearly suicidal. No one heard.

(I recall crying on the stairs in someone's house alone after my boyfriend at the time dumped me for the stupidest reasons. Two hours passed until they finally decided to do something about it... by kicking me out.)

My friend saved me and I can only hope that I am able to do the same for her...

Please, if someone in your life comes to you upset, listen. Don't smile and nod. LISTEN. Even if you don't know how to handle the situation, being there and genuinely caring can go a long way... Perhaps work wonders. I cannot tell you how much it hurts to spill your heart to someone who does not care. Someone who listens and asks "Are you finished?" You confirm and apologize for "being crazy". They go on their daily life as if your mental breakdown was a passing "Hello." I am certain some of you have had a similar experience. You know what I'm talking about.

It is heartbreaking to reach out and to have no one reach back.

I ask you to be a true friend. Cling to the hands of people you love and even if it's hard to hold on don't you fucking dare to let go. This is what friendship is truly about.