But seriously, the myUMBC "forums" are a mess. The discussions are sloppy, disorganized and full of trollbait. We need some serious changes, not idealistic threads telling everyone to be squishy and happy. That's not going to happen, amirite?

I have a dream. Not a big dream, like the last guy who said that. I have a dream where the myUMBC forums can be a place where you can have a discussion without it turning into how the black man is trying to crush the white man under his gigantic penis. I have a dream where the only time Erik Walker complains that someone is going to rape him is when someone says "God Dammit Erik Walker I'm coming to rape you." I have a dream where our colorful cast of characters can all coexist, and discuss things that warrant discussions without everything turning into a superheated series of personal attacks and insults. I have a dream where I can go into a thread and read about shit that is implied through the title, not to find two or three people bickering back and forth about the proper definition of idiosyncrasy.

Nobody cares what you have to say. Nobody cares about those fancy words you learned in you Political Science class. They just don't. This is problem, both for them because they have to read and tolerate your stupid nonsense and for you because you're so so sad that there's no one to stroke your ego.

So what are we to do, friends? I have the answer. Bring your arguments here. It doesn't matter what you're talking about. Put every single argument in this thread. Arguing with 2 people at once? Bring it on, carry on both of them in this thread. Arguing with 6 people at once? Maybe you should slow down, bro. 

But that's the point! Put all of your hate, anger, aggression, and other nasty adjectives in this thread. Keep discussions in other threads about what they're supposed to be about. The people who are arguing will come here, the people who like to argue will come here, the people who want to read arguments will come here. The people who just want to talk about parking, or Mexican food, or who took a dump in their yard last weekend can carry on their threads without having to worry about being assailed by psuedologic and ignorance.

This way, the problems I detailed 151 words ago. You're naturally attracting the audiences that you want to reach, and the audiences that want to read your ramblings can readily find your posts instead of trying to scour every thread hoping to find the next gem you've blessed us all with.

You guys need a leader, someone you can trust. No more demagogues who make false promises but never seem to deliver. I've got the look, I'll get a big stick and carry it around. I'll even buy you a fish. 

Vote me for Jesus 2012. 

I've never lied to you. I've never mislead you. I don't talk in riddles. Hell, if elected I will give you the promised rapture next week. Not to mention, I'm completely impartial about everything because I don't give a damn! I'm not going to tell you to turn the other cheek or set your enemy on fire. I am an equal-opportunity nihilist. 

Come unto me, my children. Sharpen your rapier wits in the fruits of my labor.