ACT 731,260,816
Scene 1
Empty room except for a negotiating table in the middle.
Enter the United States, Israel, and Syria.
U.S.: We have reason to believe that Israel bombed a weapons convoy headed for Lebanon, carrying anti-aircraft missiles to Hezbollah.
Bashar al-Assad (President of Syria): HA!!! There is no truth to what you speak! They destroyed an important Syrian military research center. Israel’s attack “unmasked the true role [they] are playing, in collaboration with foreign enemy forces and their agents on Syrian soil, to destabilise and weaken Syria.” (Brief footage of the attack.)
Though Israel has maintained an official silence over the attack, their Defense Minister did have something to say.
Ehud Barak: ”What happened in Syria several days ago [is] proof that when we said something we mean it… we say that we don’t think it should be allowed to bring advanced weapons systems into Lebanon.”
Bashar al-Assad retreats to corner contemplating the opposition coalition’s recent terms for leaving the country peacefully.
Exit Syria.
Scene 2
Enter Iran and Egypt.
Israeli officials warned the U.N. General Assembly in September 2012 that Iran was near the crossing of a “red line” in their nuclear program, possibly in 2013.
Ehud Barak: “If worst come to worst, there should be a readiness and capability to launch a surgical operation that will delay [Iran] by a significant time frame.”
Joe Biden (Vice President of the U.S.): Hold on there, Ehud… We’re ready to discuss Iran’s nuclear program with them, when their leadership becomes serious about engaging in dialogue.
Iran: We’re ready to talk, as long as Washington has “fair and real intentions.”
Iran’s President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, turns to Egypt to attempt to strengthen ties with its regional foe.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Egypt, I know it’s been over 30 years since we’ve visited, but we’re feeling desperately lonesome. Can we put aside the sectarian fighting and work on our friendship?
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad exits room, enters Al-Azhar Mosque, the seat of Sunni religious scholarship.
Enter sectarian fighting.
Sheikh Ahmed al-Tayeb (Head of Al-Azhar Mosque): Iran must end their interference in Gulf Arab states, particularly Bahrain, and stop their extension of Shia influence in Sunni countries!
Exit Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, as he is pelted with a shoe (one of the utmost signs of disrespect in the Arab world) for his support for the Syrian regime and discrimination against Sunnis in Iran.
Enter further U.S. Sanctions against Iran.
Iran returns to room.
Iran: The United States expects us to negotiate with them as they “hold a gun” to us. We will not submit to their will as they continue to sanction us, and we will not proceed with talks.
Iran releases footage from a U.S. CIA drone they captured to their state television. The tape included footage of the drone being transported on an Iranian helicopter, as well as its disassembled parts being carried away.
Exit in separate directions the United States, Israel, Iran, and Egypt.
End Act 731,260,816.
Short intermission
Will Israel and Syria be drawn into a new conflict, or is President Bashsar al-Assad too preoccupied with the ongoing war in Syria? Will Iran ever talk with the international community about its nuclear program, or will Israel take matters into her own hands, possibly dragging along the U.S.? Stay tuned for Act 731,260,817