Monday was Presidents Day, which afforded us all a good opportunity to reflect on the line of crusty generals, paranoid lawyers, and other semi-respectable types who have lead our country over the past 223 years.

The Washington Post reports that the Founding Fathers have never been more “in.”

On the campaign trail, Republican presidential contenders have been unusually explicit in their allegiance to the ideals of Washington, Jefferson, Adams, and the rest.

GOP candidates have imagined the FFs as a monolithic group who thought this and didn’t think that, who would have applauded this and would have abhorred that.

In reality, as the Post reminds us, the Great Wigged Ones “often bitterly disagreed with each other” and held opinions that historians have illuminated as ambiguous, contradictory, or just plain wrong.

Ben Franklin’s suggestion of the turkey over the bald eagle as the national bird, for example, can safely be said to have been moronic and tasteless.

It is curious that our politicians are fond of throwing the FFs names around in debates on issues that weren’t even on the radar in the 18th century, like abortion and gay marriage. In any case, if there were gay marriages happening in 18th century America, the radar technology to detect them had yet to be invented.

For that matter, what would the Founding Fathers have to say about the KFC Double Down? How about Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D? (”Three dimensions is just one more for me to hate it in,” J. Adams, 1801.)

Still, with all this attention being drawn to these deified colonials is also curious that we know exactly what a politician means when he or she talks about our Founding Fathers (as if we all grew up in the same house with our Founding Daddies drinking the Founding Daddy Kool Aid).

It is true many of the Founders were among the most forward-thinking people alive in their day, but they were human too and would be the first to confess that they weren’t perfect.

After all, had Barack Obama been present at the drafting of the Declaration of Independence, he would have been welcomed, at best, with something along the lines of: “This inkwell isn’t going to refill itself.”

So the next time a politician makes claims about their Founding Fathers, perhaps we should ask for a paternity test… Because the kid doesn’t show very much resemblance. . . .