The surprising success of the UMBC men’s basketball team has caught the eye of the NCAA once again. The organization is looking into possible violations for this years team a year after vacating wins from the 2007-08 team. Some sources say the punishment may be worse than the last, with talk of possible scholarship restrictions or even future postseason bans.

“After handing down the punishment last season, we thought this school learned its lesson bringing in players that actually knew what they are doing,” said NCAA president Mack Amert at a press conference. “Judging by this season’s success, it appears that they haven’t.”

Amert and his staff began investigating the possible violations in early March after an intern, unpaid of course, told him about the Retrievers eleven game turnaround from last season. NCAA officials re-examined the team’s recruiting practices over the past year. The investigation intensified as the month went on, even after NCAA officials and reporters told Amert that the team was virtually the same as the one that went 7-25 in 2015-16. That only served to enrage Amert.

“They used something or someone,” Amert barked at an intern. “Stunt doubles, aliens, body snatchers, the secret stuff from ‘Space Jam’, multiple versions of the monster from ‘The Thing’, but don’t tell me they were the same team!”

Many in the NCAA offices remain curious as to why Amert cares so much about the UMBC men’s basketball team. According to those in the NCAA offices, they seem to fit the mold of what the president wants in a university, despite the larger schools and sponsors raking in billions for the NCAA.

“They are a smaller, try-hard, ‘Little Engine That Could’ type school with no ‘one and done’ athletes, his dream scenario,” said one staffer who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “No one really understands what his problem is with this school.”

UMBC’s last and only NCAA Tournament appearance was in 2008, after winning the America East Tournament. The 24-9 Retrievers entered as a fifteen seed and lost in the first round to the second seeded Georgetown Hoyas. The NCAA wiped out that shining moment last year, vacating the wins from that team for recruiting actual basketball players.

Under new head coach Ryan Odom, the Retrievers blossomed into one of the best offensive teams in the country, leading them to an 18-12 regular season record. The success earned them an invitation to the College Insider Tournament, their first postseason appearance since 2008.

“Don’t think I don’t see what they’re doing,” Amert said. “I know they’re building a fancy new events center and have themselves a fancy new coach. The next thing you know, they’ll have a bunch of ‘one and done’s’ asking for a piece of the pie.”

He maintained this viewpoint despite the existence of great college programs like Xavier, Butler and Gonzaga who don’t rely on a bevy of McDonalds All-Americans or NBA prospects to maintain success. Still, Amert issued a similar warning as the one given last year.

“Stick to Backgammon,” he said. “That’s what they play right? Or was it Chinese Checkers? Monopoly? Chutes and Ladders?”

When one of the reporters corrected Amert and said the school was known for their chess prowess, he simply shrugged his shoulders and left the podium.

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