Do you lack a natural sense of humor? Do you want to tell jokes that will be cringe-inducing and nonsensical within the span of a month of their inception? Do you want to give the world one more reason to hate Generations Y and Z? You can do all of these now that UMBC will be adding a new major: Meme Studies. Fall 2017 will be the pilot semester for a few Meme Studies classes, such as Social Ineptitude 201 and Technology and Practices of Field Memeologists 143.

The department was proposed by none other than Freeman Hrabowski himself. Weeks ago, Hrabowski was walking through freshmen dorms, when he noticed that many of the elevator doors and bathroom stalls were marked with the phrase, “RIP Harambe.” Perplexed by what he found, Hrabowski quickly dove into the realm of internet memes and became woke. He was further inspired by Northwestern University’s recent decision to offer a Meme Studies major.

“Memes have become a language of their own and have the ability to bridge the thoughts and emotions between Millennials and… other Millennials,” said Don Aldak, who will chair the department.

The Meme Studies department will most likely located on the fourth floor of the Performing Arts and Humanities building, which is currently the home to the English department. “In the professional world, a student who graduates with a degree in Meme Studies will have the same skills and opportunities as an English major, so it is only fitting that we cram the departments together,” explained Aldak.

One Towson history professor, John Fogey, expressed his support for the teaching of Memeology at UMBC. “I’m glad to see that UMBC’s administration is embracing our younger generations and their culture. I’m down with Nyan Cat, ‘Me Gusta,’ ‘Challenge Accepted,’ all of those hip, relevant memes,” he said.

Justin Keagy, a student at AACC and supporter of memeology, said, “This new major really allows a lot of us students to cope with our lack of social skills and relevant conversation material with other generations. Honestly, I can talk memes with my frat bros for hours upon hours until I feel myself staring into the endless, black void that I have cast all of my potential, relationships and time into,” he said, eyes widening. “Sometimes I can hear my loved ones calling to me from it. But yes, memeology is something that college campuses need.” After making this statement, Keagy loudly informed me that I had been “BEANED,” and he ran away.

Mike Shriv, a sophomore biology major at UMBC, expressed his negative opinions against the Meme Studies major. “I was never a fan of memes from the start. I know real humor. I know real culture. I watch SNL. If I see one more ‘Wot In Tarnation?’ meme on my Facebook feed, I’ll probably write an angry entry on my blog. ‘Wot’ isn’t even a word. Imbeciles,” Shriv said. Shriv then asked us to write a plug for his daily college podcast, but we kindly informed him that no one listens to podcasts.

Whether or not you support the study of memes, it may be here to stay at UMBC. Memes have become intrinsically woven into the fiber of not only Internet culture, but first world social culture as well. Jen Mayer, a linguistics researcher at UMBC, noted, “Memes are the next logical step in the evolution of information and communication. We have grown so far from real human experience and into abstraction that we find a man sprinkling salt funny. The human race prides itself on inventions such as the wheel, medicine, electricity, automobiles and the Internet. I suppose it’s time that we throw memes into the mix.”

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