Virgo-Gorelax hate Virgo. When fight, Gorelax always get sick and fall over. No stars.
Libra-Gorelax love Libra, because Gorelax fair and balanced, like Fox News. Five stars.
Scorpio-Gorelax never see Scorpio before. Not sure if real thing. Three stars just in case.
Sagittarius-Gorelax not like how long this one is. Why not just call it Saggy? One stars.
Capricorn-Gorelax not sure what Capricorn is, but Gorelax love corn. Five stars.
Aquarius-Gorelax not love hit 90s band Aqua, but Gorelax not change station when they come on either. Three stars.
Pisces-Gorelax have pet Pisces named Phil. Gorelax love to watch Phil. Ten stars.
Aries-Gorelax love god of war and whole Greco-Roman pantheon. Six stars.
Taurus-Gorelax have Taurus once, but Gorelax need more headroom. Three stars.
Gemini-Gorelax no have twin, but Gorelax love Parent Trap. Five stars and Gorelax seal of approval.
Cancer-Gorelax afraid of crab people. Hear rumors. One stars, or maybe two stars because Gorelax intimidated.
Leo-Gorelax have pet Leo once, but Leo always pee everywhere and bite Gorelax. Still, Gorelax miss. Five stars.
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