Red Flags
One of the reasons I write this blog (and teach a class on social change, and work with college students) is that I believe too few people—in particular, too few college students--recognize how much power they have over their own lives and communities. It’s very easy to get into the habit of assuming that almost every institution or social dynamic you encounter is a given, beyond your capacity to change or affect. A great many intelligent people spend their lives drifting from situation to situation, doing what they think they are supposed to do, never really discovering and asserting their innermost selves, and never really challenging the set of assumptions in which they’re immersed. (That’s how I became a lawyer without ever really deciding to do so--a story I told
here). For both the individuals and for society, this taken-for-granted helplessness can give rise to a lot of unnecessary pain.
In no context is taken-for-granted helplessness more devastating than in personal relationships. Dating violence is ridiculously prevalent on college campuses. Past research studies found that:
- 32% of college students report dating violence by a previous partner, and 21% report violence by a current partner. (Source: C. Sellers and M. Bromley, “Violent Behavior in College Student Dating Relationships,” Journal of Contemporary Justice, (1996))
- 12% of completed rapes, 35% of attempted rapes, and 22% of threatened rapes occur on a date. (Source: B. Fisher, F. Cullen, and M. Turner, “The Sexual Victimization of College Women,” (Washington: NIJ/BJS, 2000))
- 51% of college males admit perpetrating one or more sexual assault incidents during college. (Source: A. Berkowitz, “College Men as Perpetrators of Acquaintance Rape and Sexual Assault,” College Health, (1992))
This pattern undoubtedly reflects the difficulty of coming to terms with, and challenging, threatening and violent behavior in one’s own relationships or in friends’ relationships. It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of another person’s rage or private misery.
UMBC is about to join a national movement aimed at empowering all of us in connection with dating violence. On November 3, 2010 at 12:15 p.m. in the Sports Zone, UMBC will launch its participation in the Red Flag Campaign, an effort to help students identify “red flags” for dating violence in their friends’ relationships and encourages them to intervene. The Red Flag Campaign features a series of eight posters that illustrate “red flags” that might be present in a relationship in which dating violence is occurring. The campaign is a result of the combined work of students, faculty, and victim advocates from nearly 20 colleges and universities.
In addition, UMBC (through the Division of Student Affairs) has been awarded a grant from the Verizon Foundation to enhance domestic violence prevention within the UMBC community. The Red Flag Campaign event will be just the first of several related initiatives to go forward this academic year. The Division of Student Affairs is looking for committed work group members (faculty, staff and students) to serve in planning and implementing the work for each component of the grant. If you are interested in serving, please contact Kim Leisey (
leisey@umbc.edu) or Fritzie Charné Merriwether (
charne@umbc.edu).
I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences. These are their responses.
Name: Sheriff Gaye (Amran to my friends).
Hometown: Banjul, The Gambia, West Africa.
Q: How long have you been at UMBC?
A: Two years and a bit.
Q: What is your current title (job or student organization position)?
A: Junior Sys Admin at CSEE.
Q: In 12 words or less, what role(s) do you play on campus?
A: I fix broken computers (and add to campus diversity ;)).
Q: What aspect of your UMBC role(s) do you enjoy most?
A: Getting to meet lots of new and different people outside of my usual experience (sometimes even out of my usual comfort zone - which is a great way to learn maturity). Also - and this may not make much sense - being part of a... system which strives to be as self-contained as possible - I find it fascinating to watch how the school is run, and how everything integrates together to create the community we know and love: from the campus police to the inspirational posters talking about recognition we have received to boost school spirit, and all of it run by people who seem to genuinely love their jobs and what they do. It's a bit like living in a model city, a micro city without all the complexities of a full one, but a tightly coupled system nevertheless - and so every little change propagates through the system and has consequences (such as the current parking troubles we are facing). Kind of like a real life version of Civ 4 (with a lot less variables, of course :)).
Q: What is the most important or memorable thing you learned in college/have learned at UMBC?
A: Generally speaking, everyone on campus (and I guess this is true about life as well) is friendly and willing to talk and open up if approached, just like you are. So hesitating to speak to someone, or reach out and make connections because you are afraid (of saying the wrong thing, of being rebuffed), is not only based on the wrong assumption ("everyone looks so sure about themselves, and I'm not"), but is also a sad missed opportunity - the sooner you learn this, and learn to just relax, the better.
Q: Complete this sentence: "I am a big fan of __________"
A: Mad Men. :) My fanboism waxes and wanes, and is attached to different objects (Avatar the Last Airbender, the novels of Manuel Puig) at different times - right now the writing and acting in Mad Men is what gets me most excited about TV. Oh and the iPad. ;)
Q: Do you have any UMBC stories, little-known facts about UMBC, favorite spots on campus, or anything else you’d like to share?
A: The UMBC theatre gives some great performances a few times a year - try and catch one of them when you can. They've got some very talented players, and are not afraid to try out new things - it's a great way to relax after a semester of long nights jacked directly into an endless-seeming feed of homework.
]]>
I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences....
http://cocreateumbc.blogspot.com/2010/10/real-people-profiles-sheriff-gaye.html
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Tue, 26 Oct 2010 11:09:00 -0400
Don't Lie for Me
I don’t have any plans to run for public office, but if I ever do, I’d appreciate it if nobody lied on my behalf. I know it’s an unusual request, one that may doom me to defeat. But it just seems to me that if you’re seeking election in a democracy, you ought to respect the voters and the process enough to be honest, and to ask your supporters to do the same. Plus if I did get elected, I’d like it to have been because the voters appreciated my ideas and had confidence in my abilities, not because I’d scared them into believing that my opponent might actually be a sociopath, or a criminal, or a fire-breathing lizard, or undead.
I know how radical this request must seem, almost as strange as if I were asking shadowy organizations with innocent-sounding names not to spend money on my behalf. So to avoid any misunderstanding, I’m going to give some specific examples of what I want you not to do for me:
- Please do not imply that I’m going to fix something that is not within the powers and responsibilities of the office I’m seeking. For example, please don’t promote my campaign by saying “David believes in putting the most qualified teachers where they’ll have the greatest impact on kids,” if I’m running for Sheriff.
- Please don’t attack my opponent for something that is equally true of me. For example, I’m originally from California. So never run an ad against an opponent of mine in which you have an announcer say in a snide voice, “And [my opponent] is not even from Maryland!”
- Don’t distort my opponent’s record by taking one consequence of a past decision and morphing it into something obscenely destructive. For example, if my opponent voted in favor of funding five new police officers, do not turn that fact into an ad claiming “[my opponent] voted to put more people with guns on the streets. [My opponent] even voted to buy them the bullets!”
- Do not say something truthful about my opponent’s positions in a way that becomes a lie because you leave out important information. For example, suppose my opponent supports, or is willing to compromise on, a combination of policies A, B and C (perhaps A is a tax increase, B is a tax cut and C is a spending cut). Don’t run ads saying anything like, “now [my opponent] even wants to stick us with Policy A. [My opponent]: too Policy A-loving for Maryland,” without, you know, mentioning the whole Policy B and C thing.
- Don't claim that my opponent is actually motivated by a desire to inflict suffering on others, as in: "[my opponent] wants to make America weaker, and hopes to run up the national debt so that our grandchildren will be begging in the streets!"
- Please do not run any ad in which you include a photo you’ve chosen, or altered, to make my opponent look like an angry dog or a vampire (unless I’m actually running against an angry dog or a vampire, in which case the photo wouldn’t be a lie).
- Please do not run an ad in which you surround a photo of my opponent with images of storms, locusts, flesh-eating bacteria or the like, or play horror-movie music in the background.
I thank you in advance for your cooperation and restraint.
]]>
I don’t have any plans to run for public office, but if I ever do, I’d appreciate it if nobody lied on my behalf. I know it’s an unusual request, one that may doom me to defeat. But it just...
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Co-Create UMBC
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Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:24:00 -0400
Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:24:00 -0400
Be the Next Student Regent
The University System of Maryland encompasses 11 universities, a research institute and two regional higher education centers. It employs more than 13,000 faculty members and owns more than 1,000 buildings. Its annual operating budget is $4.2 billion. There are more than 148,000 undergraduate and graduate students enrolled at its various institutions. But only one of them gets to participate directly in the decisions of the Board of Regents, the system's governing body. Twice in the past eight years, that one student--the Student Regent--has come from UMBC. Could you be next?
Please take a look at this description of the Student Regent position and application, and consider applying. Please also pass the information along to friends who may be interested. (If you have trouble opening the documents mentioned in the first sentence of this paragraph, try going here instead). The student selected will serve from July 1, 2011 through June 30, 2012.
The application deadline is Wednesday, November 10th at 5:00 P.M. Submit completed applications in hard copy to my mailbox in the Office of Student Life, Commons 336, and also email the application form and essays to me at dhoffman@umbc.edu. I'm very happy to answer questions about the position and the process, so don't hesitate to contact me if you'd like to know more.
]]>
The University System of Maryland encompasses 11 universities, a research institute and two regional higher education centers. It employs more than 13,000 faculty members and owns more than...
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Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:20:00 -0400
Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:20:00 -0400
Real People Profiles: Catie Collins
I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences. These are their responses.
Name: Catie (with a C) Collins
Hometown: Mount Airy, MD
Q: How long have you been at UMBC?
A: This is my third glorious year at UMBC!
Q: What is your current title (job or student organization position)?
A: SGA Supreme Court Judge Advocate, Vice President of Stilettos a cappella, and Student Administrative Assistant over at the Office of Institutional Advancement.
Q: In 12 words or less, what role(s) do you play on campus?
A: Wordy wielder of impartiality, student advocacy enthusiast & musical morale booster.
Q: What aspect of your UMBC role(s) do you enjoy most?
A: In every role I have on campus, I work with the most amazing people. That is not an exaggeration. In working at OIA, I get the chance to chat with Vice President Greg Simmons, who is one of the nicest people on campus. He not only regularly checks in with me about my student experience, he’s also always willing to answer any questions I have about UMBC itself. It’s refreshing to see that the administration is truly invested in seeing students succeed. (Also, for the record, I once heard him sing “Single Ladies”).
And then there are the SGA members I have the joy of working with. At the groundbreaking, I had the most wonderful experience of walking towards a sea of people in gold SGA shirts who turned to me and collectively shouted “CATIE WITH A C!” If that doesn’t warm the cockles of your heart, I don’t know what does.
Q: What is the most important or memorable thing you learned in college/have learned at UMBC?
A: A two-part incredibly important lesson: be patient and don’t get discouraged.
Ah, discouragement. It’s easy to feel powerless, particularly after you’ve attempted something and the results weren’t quite what you hoped. At the risk of sounding cliché, there’s a lot of truth in “try, try again”. If you just take that one extra step (reach out! Ask questions!), you’ll be surprised to find how many resources there are on campus to *empower* you, rather than leave you powerless.
As for the patience aspect…time for a real-life experience story. Ever since my freshman year I’ve been trying to find my right fit at UMBC – academically, socially, and even residentially. I followed the advice that everyone hears: “get involved”. I joined organizations and went to events, but it wasn’t some kind of immediate revelation like everyone said it would be. I still felt like I didn’t really belong.
Then this year, somehow, everything clicked, and I’m suddenly *that* girl – the one who walks into the SGA office without fear and feels warmly welcomed, who’s considering ordering monocles in bulk for an a cappella concert, whose suitemates are like a sickeningly adorable family, and who finally feels wonderfully engaged and fulfilled academically. UMBC has become my true home. I live here, work here, study here, and gladly trade in my free time to be as absurdly involved as possible. (Moral of the story: Get Involved. Be Patient. It will happen.)
Q: Complete this sentence: "I am a big fan of __________"
A: A napping zone. Think about it.
Q: Do you have any UMBC stories, little-known facts about UMBC, favorite spots on campus, or anything else you’d like to share?
A: Fun fact: Do you know what percentage of UMBC’s overall costs is paid for by tuition? Around 25%! (These are the things I find fascinating – I didn’t think it was so little!)
]]>
I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences. These...
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Co-Create UMBC
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Thu, 21 Oct 2010 11:01:00 -0400
UMBC Heroes
UMBC has launched an advertising campaign that highlights students who are making a difference. I love the concept, the images, and the idea that UMBC is embracing and touting the innovative contributions of student change agents. Check it out.
]]>
UMBC has launched an advertising campaign that highlights students who are making a difference. I love the concept, the images, and the idea that UMBC is embracing and touting the innovative...
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Wed, 20 Oct 2010 09:38:00 -0400
Faculty Forum with Grad Students! Fri. 10/22 (Free Dinner!)
The annual When Faculty Say ‘x’, They Really Mean ‘y’ faculty forum/grad student seminar will be held this Friday, October 22, 2010, 4:30 – 6:00 PM, on UMBC’s campus, ACIV, LH4. Details online from the UMBC Graduate School Digest. Post an anonymous question … any grad student, from any school may post a question: http://promisecommunitybuilding.blogspot.com/ [...]
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The annual When Faculty Say ‘x’, They Really Mean ‘y’ faculty forum/grad student seminar will be held this Friday, October 22, 2010, 4:30 – 6:00 PM, on UMBC’s campus, ACIV, LH4. Details online...
http://promisesuccessseminars.wordpress.com/2010/10/19/faculty-forum-with-grad-students-fri-1022-free-dinner/
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agep
gradstudents
promise
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seminars
workshops
Grad Student & Postdoc Development
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PROMISE @ UMBC: Support for Graduate Students
5
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Tue, 19 Oct 2010 10:01:12 -0400
Tue, 19 Oct 2010 10:01:12 -0400
Real People Profiles: Jill Randles
I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences. These are their responses.
Hometown:I don't have one. My Dad was career Army.
Q: How long have you been at UMBC?
A: This is my 19th year.
Q: What is your current title (job or student organization position)?
A: Assistant Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education.
Q: In 12 words or less, what role(s) do you play on campus?
A: Working with colleagues, I develop programs and opportunities that support student success in the transition to college.
Q: What aspect of your UMBC role(s) do you enjoy most?
A: My work requires that I work closely with students, faculty, and staff on a broad range of initiatives. I love the variety of people with whom I work and also the variety of tasks with which I am blessed to be involved.
Q: What is the most important or memorable thing you learned in college/have learned at UMBC?
A: In college, I learned that often our perceptions are not accurate. One has to be careful about making judgments without having all of the information, and that the information on which you base your decision should be information you gather. Just because someone you know has an experience, that may or may not be a good one, does not mean your experience will be the same. Give people and opportunities a chance, try them yourself, get out of your comfort zone because, if you don't, you can't possibly know what you are missing or make a meaningful contribution that can help to improve something.
Q: Complete this sentence: "I am a big fan of __________"
A: Horses and riding.
Q: Do you have any UMBC stories, little-known facts about UMBC, favorite spots on campus, or anything else you’d like to share?
A: Years ago we were sitting at a table celebrating a staff member's retirement. I think the assumption by some of the students who had worked with her was that she did not go to college. Well...she did. She attended a local private college and graduated with a degree in History. When she shared this and most of the students jaws dropped to the ground (perhaps an example of a perception based on an assumption) she said..."Yes, I went to college when the goal of an education was to learn how to learn, not just to get a job. The tools I developed during my years in college have served me well in a variety of positions....they are transferable skills and I learned how to access and apply them." This is something I have never forgotten.
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I’m asking some of the people you might encounter on the UMBC campus, including students, faculty, staff and alumni, to answer a few questions about themselves and their experiences. These are...
http://cocreateumbc.blogspot.com/2010/10/real-people-profiles-jill-randles.html
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Co-Create UMBC
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Co-Create UMBC
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Tue, 19 Oct 2010 09:47:00 -0400
Confessions
When I’m standing in front of a room full of people—something I do a lot in my job—I never know what to do with my hands. It’s not so bad when I’m speaking, and can use a gesture to emphasize a point. But when I’m standing next to a co-presenter or co-instructor and watching the other person talk, my hands feel like little beacons of awkwardness. I tend to be most comfortable sticking them in my pockets, but when I see others do that they look nervous and goofy. When I let them fall at my sides, I imagine that I must look stiff, like a robot. When I cross my arms across my chest, I imagine that I look wound-up and self-protective. When I clasp one hand with the other behind my back, I imagine I must look pretentious, or just contorted. As thoughts like these distract me from what the other person is saying, I’ll sometimes move my hands and arms from one position to another and back again, and I imagine they look like the blades of a helicopter whirling around me.
My insecurity in those moments is a throwback to an earlier time in my life, when my acute awareness of my own awkwardness was sometimes socially paralyzing. Filled with anxiety and self-doubt, I shied away from people at gatherings because I imagined that my trying to connect with them would be experienced by them as an unwanted intrusion. I yearned to understand the social rules that most other people seemed to have mastered, and was painfully conscious of my unwitting transgressions.
Eventually I became more confident and less self-conscious. In the meantime, my struggles to navigate my social world had some surprising benefits. I began to see things: subtle patterns in interactions and situations. I started to find that certain books and articles about leadership, civic engagement and education really spoke to me because I recognized, from personal experience and lifelong observation, the human dynamics they described. When I became a community organizer and began pulling a variety of people together to solve complex problems, I was able to draw on years of insights gained largely from trying very hard to look a little less like a dork.
Now I work at a job I love, and to which I feel called. It involves helping students to transcend their own sources of self-doubt, figure out who they are and what they care about, and discover their capacity to pull people together—navigating the nuances of complex interactions—to make a difference. And every single day I use and teach what I learned, and continue to learn, from struggling through my own doubts.
Every experience counts in life, not just the ones you can list on a resume. Anxiety and failure contain the seeds of wisdom and empowerment. If you can, be thankful for them, and embrace them for all they’re worth, even as you try to overcome them. And if you have an idea about what I should do with my hands when I’m standing next to the person presenting, feel free to share. I’m ready to learn.
]]>
When I’m standing in front of a room full of people—something I do a lot in my job—I never know what to do with my hands. It’s not so bad when I’m speaking, and can use a gesture to emphasize a...
http://cocreateumbc.blogspot.com/2010/10/confessions.html
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Co-Create UMBC
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Co-Create UMBC
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Mon, 18 Oct 2010 10:30:00 -0400
Scenes from the Bonfire
Scenes from UMBC's Homecoming Bonfire on Wednesday night, October 13th:
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| Homecoming means participating in the tradition of waiting in line for free stuff! |
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| First-ever Homecoming pancake-eating contest |
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| Rosy and Lexx didn't get to see a Homecoming bonfire last year when they were freshmen (it got rained out), so this was a special night. |
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| In the pancake line . . . |
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| Traditionally the bonfire is lit by the members of the First Year Council, because it was a First Year Council member--Thomas Locastro--who launched the bonfire tradition. This time members of the 2009 First Year Council also were invited to participate because of last year's bonfire rainout. But there were so many FYC members who stepped forward to grab the lit torches that they ended up having to choose just a couple of representatives to light the bonfire. |
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| At this point, a few people around me were actually snickering about what a lame fire this was. They didn't know what was coming. |
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| First Year Council members (and their student advisor, Naina Khandelwal). |
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| The circle of people kept getting wider as it became too hot to stand close to the flames. |
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| One of these guys said, "Do you want a picture of some tennis players?" |
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| Some amazing colors in the embers. Non-toxic, I'm sure! |
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| This is the way the bonfire ends: not with a bang, but a shower. |
]]>
Scenes from UMBC's Homecoming Bonfire on Wednesday night, October 13th: Homecoming means participating in the tradition of waiting in line for free stuff! First-ever Homecoming...
http://cocreateumbc.blogspot.com/2010/10/scenes-from-bonfire.html
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Co-Create UMBC
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Co-Create UMBC
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Thu, 14 Oct 2010 11:23:00 -0400
Thu, 14 Oct 2010 13:14:00 -0400
Name: Sheriff Gaye (Amran to my friends). 
