So after the longest run of any woman in the history of the United States Congress, Senator Barbara Mikulski of Maryland is retiring after this 114^th Congress in 2017. And for some reason, I am feeling some sort of way about it.

I have been incensed to write this ever since Senator Mikulski’s retirement announcement, not because she is my policy-making idol or someone who defines what feminism looks like for me. To be quite honest, I have not followed her every vote, nor her every speech. But there’s something to Senator Mikulski that I have always looked up to. She is a symbol to me—a symbol of a woman who is not afraid to take up space. A symbol I have always needed.

On the right, Barbara Mikulski in 1994.

Senator Mikulski has always been known to me as a woman who has stomped forward and demanded her due. Who attested to being “one of those emotional women” on the Senate floor while arguing for pay equity; who, early in her career, was the only other percentage point of women in the U.S. Senate. Women I know, admire, and who inspire me daily—my mother being one of them—have always touted her as their own “shero.” Why? Because, Senator Mikulski did not try to maintain a new sense of subtlety or feminine gentleness when she got to the Senate—no, she made her bombastic nature her signature. Something that just was her essence. She was fiery and passionate about issues, and that’s where her political energy came from.

And it’s not only her personality, but it’s the fact that Barbara Mikulski is also no waif. And I mean no disrespect to the Senator at all—rather, I mean only respect. This woman is small and sturdy. She is not the Claire Underwood or Olivia Pope on our television, but the 4’11” juggernaut who wears pants on the Senate floor when she goddamn feels like it. Senator Mikulski’s visage, like her personality, is unapologetic.

And as a woman who can’t stop muttering “I’m sorrys” to every person who accidentally(?) pushes me on the sidewalk, I need that symbol of unabashed space taking up-ness that Senator Mikulski has always been for me. As a woman who does have wide-set shoulders, wide-set hips, and a loud, wide way of talking about what thing is making her angriest, I need to know that I can succeed with that. As a woman who has always had her fire for social justice doused by naysayers or “realists,” I need someone who is bent on raising hell till her and her loved ones get the rights they deserve. And finally, as a woman who has struggled with body, intelligence, and political insecurity in a patriarchal world, Senator Mikulski has always been somebody who I would look to when I was down, and realize, “I can take up this space, because I deserve it and I am more than worthy.”  

I hope that anybody reading this who faces similar or maybe even more complex insecurities than I do, can hopefully treat this post as a push towards finding that someone—be they a celebrity, a politician, or a peer in class—who makes you realize you are worthy of the skin you’re in and the space you inhabit. Maybe they do it through their ferocity (like my Senator Barb), their creativity, their stoicism, but either way, they help you to be you to the fullest, and they awaken the opportunity to celebrate yourself and the uniqueness that makes you you. Because sometimes, in our weakest moments, all we need is to feel inspired to know that we are worthy.

*And here is my disclaimer on “problematic faves”: I am often one of the first to recognize the problematic nature of anything that exists in the world. It’s not that I am trying to be a dark shadow, a pox upon the happiness of all the smiling people in the room. No, rather, it is simply a personal habit of mine to critically analyze something until its not fun any more (I’ll do it to the Oscars, I’ll do it to your fave, and I’ll keep doing it, I tell you). However, I wanted to add this disclaimer, because I know that Senator Barbara Mikulski has done and said what are probably problematic things to many. I’m certain I could find hurt in what she’s said if I read enough, but I also am not going to let that ruin this moment. I am going to bask in that Senator Barbara Mikulski Sun that always makes me feel like I can carpe all the diems, and I am going to feel positive about it. So, please, allow me the indulgence of stoking the fangirling fire a little longer, oh fellow killjoys, because all of our faves are problematic, and sometimes that’s just gotta be okay.

UMBC Women Who Rock is a blog series I’m working on throughout the 2014-15 academic year. In my role as Women’s Center director, I have some of the best opportunities to become acquainted with some of UMBC’s best and brightest women on campus. I admire the ways they live authentic lives unapologetically that challenge the stereotypes and assumptions that are often assigned to women. By debunking these stereotypes and forcing us to check our assumptions, they allow us to expand our notion of what a woman is and can be.

-Jess

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UMBC Women Who Rock!
Amelia Meman, GWST major & Women’s Center staff member extraordinaire 

Birthdays are my most favorite of holidays. I love birthdays, and I’m not just talking about my own birthday, I’m talking about all birthdays. I love the celebration of life which is why you’ll often hear me say to the birthday person, “Thank you for being born.” And, today, it’s Amelia’s birthday. Happiest of birthdays to you, you brilliant feminist killjoy.

Life-giving and killjoy? Yes and I’ll get to that.

I first met Amelia in the spring of 2013 when she and several other Gender + Women’s Studies students would take over the Women’s Center lounge for “lunch bunch” in between their morning and afternoon classes. They would swoop in with their feminist theory and activism and the whole place would come alive with laughter, pondering, and thoughtful conversations. Consequently, I was excited when Amelia reached out to me over the summer to interview for an internship through the Honors College. The Women’s Center hasn’t been the same since.

Meet Amelia!

In her two years working in the Women’s Center, Amelia has come to be one of the hardest working people I know. She is wicked smart. She cares deeply about the quality of her work. She takes self-initiative to include commissioning herself to be the Women’s Center’s artist-in-residence. She is also a good friend who is genuinely committed to the well-being and support of those she loves. After she graduates and I think back on Amelia’s time in the Women’s Center, I’ll think of laughter. The laughter that comes from underwater animals, a blog post created entirely through gifs, and the reenactment of Leslie Knope and Burt Macklin misadventures.

And, just as importantly, I’ll think of the cracks and the fissures Amelia has taught me to see. In preparing to write this post, I explained to Amelia that I use the UMBC Women Who Rocks series to explore the ways in which the featured woman has challenged me to reconsider the assumptions and stereotypes I hold and I asked Amelia how she believes she’s challenged me. Her reply, “My challenge is that I always challenge people.” Touché, Amelia. As a self-identified feminist killjoy, I should have seen that one coming. She went on to wonder, though, if always recognizing and pointing out problems is unproductive, but conclusively ended with “the only way for change to happen is to recognize the cracks and fissures.”

There’s nothing more I can do than to whole-heartedly agree with her. For example, it is in the embracing of the imperfect that led Amelia to envision what is now Critical Social Justice. When Amelia looked around at social justice movements and thought about her experience at UMBC, she saw gaps and inequitable hierarchies, missed opportunities to engage in critical conversations, and a sense of apathy. Instead of just ignoring those issues or complaining about them, she considered an alternative that sought change. An alternative which in just two short years has been a transformative experience for the Women’s Center and has excited many UMBC students about the role they can play in social justice movements.

As I’ve written, back spaced, written some more, and back spaced again, I have felt challenged throughout the entire exercise of writing this post about Amelia. For someone who means so much to me (and on her birthday of all days), I wanted this reflection to be perfect, but I kept seeing its faults and all that it wasn’t. It’s a reminder to me how perfectionism can be limiting. A perfect sentence that is never written is just an unwritten sentence. So I back spaced some more and wrote again and this one particular image of Amelia kept coming to mind. It’s an image of Amelia crying and being frustrated with herself. She’s just finished up an activity at summer STRiVE (where she was a participant and I was a coach) and she doesn’t like what she’s learned about herself. In this activity that was solely centered in privilege and power and the haves and have-nots, Amelia took it all and loved it. In the debriefing of the activity, though, she was quick to see the cracks and fissures of her own actions. For someone who lives and breathes the practice of social justice, she was surprised by the ease in which she placed those values aside for a game and that scared her. Amelia could have easily hid her feelings or pretended like she was just acting out the part of the big bad capitalist. But she didn’t. She owned every part of her actions and recognized the cracks and fissures in an effort to create change within herself. And, in that moment I was never more proud of her.

Amelia and the Women’s Center staff at last year’s Lavender Celebration.

Being a killjoy takes honesty, vulnerability, and courage, especially when looking at oneself. In my identity as a feminist and advocate for social justice I know there’s been times I’ve been more than shy about recognizing where I still need to learn and grow and be challenged out of fear that I wouldn’t belong. In an effort to be perfect, I’ve turned my eyes away from the imperfections shutting down the chance to let change and growth to their thing. Through Amelia’s quest to be unapologetically worthy of the space she takes up she has helped create brave spaces within myself to feel at home in my contradictions while taking strides to engage in the what’s, how’s and why’s of those imperfections. Amelia has given me the opportunity to stay connected to my imperfections and to name them rather than distancing myself from them. It’s the distancing that kills us, whereas the joy comes in living yourself into the solutions. As we wrapped up our conversation, Amelia reflected on the courage is takes to say this thing, this person, this Me may “be problematic and I still love you.” So yes, back to my point of being live-giving and a killjoy. Amelia has shown me how to be both.

When my friend, who met Amelia last November at the National Women’s Studies Association conference, recently found out that Amelia is graduating in May she instantly replied “What are you going to do?!” For someone who only briefly met Amelia this is a testament to the good work she does and most especially the important space she takes up in my heart. I replied, “I don’t know… Cry?” And, maybe I will a little, but during her time here at UMBC, Amelia has challenged me to examine my own cracks and fissures and that has helped me become a better supervisor, a better feminist, and a better me. So, I will also be filled with joy. The joy that can only come from the honesty and vulnerability it takes to freely be me in all my faults and perfections.

So, on this day, and every day, Amelia Meman, you are a UMBC Woman Who Rocks. Happy birthday. Thank you for being born.

Amelia and others from the Critical Social Justice Student Alliance – a student organization that stemmed out of the energy and passion of Critical Social Justice

Who are the UMBC women in your life that inspire you to think outside your expectations and assumptions? What are the counter narrative stories they’re sharing with us allowing UMBC and our greater community to be more of exactly who we want to be? Comment below and maybe you’ll just find them featured in a future UMBC Women Who Rock post.

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Check out other UMBC Women Who Rock:

Amanda Knapp (featured August 2014)
Susan Dumont (featured October 2014)
Jahia Knobloch (featured January 2015)
A Reflection on Encouragement and Accountability (February 2015)

March is Women’s History Month!

Two  years ago Women’s History Month’s national theme was “Women Inspiring Innovation Through Imagination: Celebrating Women in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics.” The theme honored generations of women who throughout American history have used their intelligence, imagination, sense of wonder, and tenacity to make extraordinary contributions to the STEM fields. At UMBC we honored this theme by partnering with the Center for Women in Technology (CWIT) to feature some of their amazing students participating in technology in the engineering and information technology fields. Three years later, we still find it meaningful and important to continue spotlighting the stories of UMBC’s CWIT women and with the 2015 theme of “Weaving the Stories of Women’s Lives” there’s no better time than now to continue weaving the stories of our campus ITE women into the fabric of women’s history and current day lived experiences. So with that, we are honored to bring you the 3rd Annual CWIT Showcase in honor of Women’s History Month.

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Claudette Dupont
Mechanical Engineering
CWIT T-Site Scholar

Meet Claudette!

Describe what sparked your interest STEM and the journey to choosing your major.

After graduating from high school in 2003, I pursued a career in the sport of showing dogs in American Kennel Club dog shows. I was nationally ranked in Junior Handling and placed in big-ticket events including The Westminster Kennel Club show. For over ten years, I worked for some of the most well-known professional dog handlers in the country, but in the summer of 2009 I injured myself and decided I needed a more secure career. Dog showing will always be my hobby, but I wanted to go to community college to get a business degree so I could manage my own dog-boarding kennel.

So how did I go from dog handler to mechanical engineer?

Claudette during her dog show days.

While I was pursuing my Business Administration Degree at Anne Arundel Community College (AACC) I participated in seminars on renewable energy sources. Through these seminars, I met a project engineer from Constellation Energy group, and after listening to his seminar I asked him how he got his job – I thought it was fascinating. He explained that he had a Mechanical engineering degree and a MBA and he encouraged me to switch majors; in the same week I applied for an engineering scholars program for women and minorities at AACC. This program helped me explore engineering and introduced me to UMBC, where I was later accepted into the Center for Women in Technology T-SITE scholars program for transfer students. I have been very fortunate to have met such a great group of scholars and mentors.

Tell us about an internship, research experience or project that you are proud of.

I worked as an engineering assistant and drafter for Siemens Building Technologies in Beltsville Maryland for over 2 years. I recently accepted an internship offer for this summer at Johnson, Miriam and Thompson, a multi-disciplined architectural/engineering employee owned company.

Who are your role models in the engineering or IT field? How have their stories influenced your educational or career goals?

I was inspired by William Kamkwamba when I read his book The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating Currents of Electricity and Hope. He was an impressive boy who built a windmill to power a few electrical appliances in his family’s house in Masitala using blue gum trees, bicycle parts, and materials collected in a local scrapyard. I was inspired because he was someone who had little resources but wanted to learn and make a change in his life for the positive, which brings me to my own personal difficulties – specifically, overcoming learning challenges. I was in special education in grade school and never wanted to go to college because I thought it was unattainable. However, with the help of the Khan Academy from Salman Khan I was able to learn and tackle the math and science needed to succeed in engineering. Salman Khan, who earned three degrees from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and a MBA from Harvard Business School, has made learning attainable for those who just need a good teacher.

Explain your experience as a woman in a STEM major working with other women in STEM. How have you used each other to support your work and persevere in male-dominated fields?

Unfortunately, women in engineering in the HVAC field are a rarity, and I had to find support from women in the office who were not in STEM positions. Diversity in STEM fields is extremely important and I would like to mentor the next generation of young women in STEM, and I recommend looking for employers that embrace diversity.

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The Center for Women In Technology (CWIT) is dedicated to increasing the representation of women in the creation of technology in the engineering and information technology fields. CWIT efforts begin with nurturing a strong group of Scholars, grow to building community resources for other women in these majors, extend to fostering a healthy gender climate and ITE pedagogy in College of Engineering and Information Technology (COEIT) departments, and finally expand into outreach efforts to increase interest in technical careers. A successful program for female-friendly engineering and information technology education at UMBC will help make UMBC a destination for women (and men) interested in technical careers and serve as a national model for other universities.

For more information about Women’s History events and happenings, visit the Women’s Center myUMBC group page.

This year's national theme is Weaving the Stories of Women's Lives. "There is a real power in hearing women's stories, both personally and in a larger context. Remembering and recounting tales of our ancestors' talents, scarifies, and commitments inspires today's generations and opens the way to the future."

We invite you to check out UMBC's Women's History Month calendar. Several campus departments, including GWST and Psychology, will be hosting keynotes and lectures related to women's issues and research. For the third year in a row, we'll also be spotlighting students from the CWIT community  as they continue to pave an important path in our history that gives voice and experience to women in the ITE fields. You can follow the spotlights on the Women's Center blog. The Women's Center is also excited to focus our WHM programming around Telling Our Stories.

Follow the Women's Center on facebook, twitter, and our blog for Women's History updates throughout the month.

For a full list of all the campus events, download the calendar here. 

UMBC welcomed the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) for a regional grant-writing workshop on February 20, 2015. The workshop, conducted by the NEH’s Division of Research Programs, was sponsored by the Dresher Center for the Humanities; the College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences (CAHSS); and the Office of the Vice President for Research. 

Faculty participants from UMBC and seven area colleges and universities learned about NEH grant and fellowship programs, and special initiatives. The Maryland Humanities Council also spoke about its grant opportunities. A “mock” evaluation panel, led by UMBC NEH Fellows Kate Brown (History), Thomas Field (MLLI), and Anna Shields (MLLI), discussed the NEH proposal review process. Grant application-writing strategies were also shared. 

"The Dresher Center was pleased to welcome the NEH to campus,” noted director Jessica Berman. “Workshops like these give a shot in the arm to researchers, who then begin to consider how their work fits into national priorities and initiatives. The workshop also showcased the strengths of UMBC faculty work in the humanities.”

With an annual program budget of $108 million, the NEH awards grants to individuals and groups of humanities researchers at universities, museums, libraries and archives, and other cultural and educational organizations. These highly competitive grants, which are evaluated by scholars and other experts in their field, have an average award rate of between seven and ten per cent per year. If denied, NEH encourages applicants to re-submit.

The Endowment also supports public programs and special initiatives, like the new “Common Good: The Humanities in the Public Square,” which seeks to bring humanities scholarship to public attention in new, significant ways. The NEH’s Office of Digital Humanities provides grants to projects that integrate new technologies in humanities research, as well as those that study digital culture from a humanistic perspective. 

NEH-funded research projects often cross the disciplinary boundaries between the arts, humanities, and social sciences. At UMBC, NEH fellowships and grants have been awarded to CAHSS faculty in the departments of Africana Studies; English; Geography and Environmental Systems; History; Modern Languages, Linguistics, and Intercultural Communication; Political Science, Sociology-Anthropology, Theatre, and Visual Arts. 

For information on NEH programs, contact Rachel Brubaker, Assistant Director for Grants and Program Development, Dresher Center for the Humanities: rbruba1@umbc.edu. 

Photo (from left to right): Anna Shields, MLLI; Tom Field, MLLI; and Kate Brown, History

The Dresher Center for the Humanities invites applications for two residential graduate student research fellowships. Funding will be given for the fall 2015 semester and is intended to promote promising research by graduate students in the humanities. The fellowships are open to all UMBC doctoral and master's level students working on humanities-related research projects that will culminate in a dissertation or master's thesis.

Fellows will reside two days a week in a shared office in the Dresher Center during the fall semester and will receive up to $1,000 to be used for research travel, materials, or other directly-related research expenses. Fellows will present a session as part of the CURRENTS: Humanities Work Now series and attend the Humanities Forum and other Dresher Center events and workshops.

After the fall semester, fellows will submit a summary of the work they accomplished during the semester, as well as a statement on the progress made towards the completion of their dissertation or master's thesis.

Applications for Fall 2015 fellowships must be received by March 15, 2015.

For information and an application: http://dreshercenter.umbc.edu/scholarly-resources/umbc-graduate-student-residential-fellowship-program/ 

I am reclaiming my blackness. It’s been taken, twisted, and transformed into something I no longer recognized. It was deemed less than by the black kids, less than by the white kids, and left me navigating a space with an identity invalid.

My mom and I had a long “discussion” about the term Blackish. This began in reference to the popular TV show, but quickly went down a road that is still painful for me to revisit. In my mom’s opinion, she is black and I am blackish. I understood what she meant. I did not fit the stereotypical “black” mold. In fact, I fit the one she built for me. Predominantly white schools, a two parent household, sports, instruments, pets, private school, a car… the list goes on. These things were and continue to be my normal. Unfortunately, these things simultaneously made me “less than black”. How could that be?

My mom’s lived experiences are different. Her relationship with her dad is virtually nonexistent, she grew up in the inner city, her childhood was a low-income one. Is that what blackness is? Absentee dads? Poverty? The hood?

I’ve been ruminating on these thoughts this Black History Month. I’ve been thinking of my great-grandparents who didn’t establish themselves in a hood, but a neighborhood, with a car and a home they called their own. There were two parents and they worked hard to give their children a taste of middle-class life. They wore furs and diamonds, suits and church hats. They endured overt racism in ways I will never truly understand. Were they blackish too?

I am lost. I am exhausted at the thought of having to prove an identity that was handed to me. It covers every inch of my skin in a fantastic bronze hue. It dictates how strangers react to my face, my resume, my voice, my name. I am black. I am black first. I cannot be anything less.

“What do you say to the white kids when even the black kids say you’re not black enough for them?”

This post is an expansion of my statement in the I’m Not portion of the UMBC Women of Color Coalition’s campaign, “Telling Our Stories” project. For more information about the project and other stories, visit us on Facebook here.