-By Amy Taylor, Social Work/Music Major

Humans are wired for belonging. We crave connection, shared purpose, and safety within groups. But not every group that promises community delivers it. Some take that longing and twist it into control. It often happens slowly, without people inside the group noticing. Nobody is immune to these organizations because they prey on people who are going through any sort of life change or who feel alone. As a college student, being away from family and friends for the first time can make one vulnerable to groups that offer “instant community.” College is a time when many students are rebuilding their sense of belonging from scratch, which makes it both exciting and vulnerable terrain.

Born Into Control

I learned about community and control during my earliest years, primarily through what community was not. I was born into a family of eight kids, the third-born and oldest girl. For the first 20 years of my life, my parents raised my siblings and me in a high-control organization (HCO). I knew nothing about a healthy community because the HCO dictated where we went to church, what type of education we received or did not, what we wore, what we did with our time and money, and who we would associate with. 

Identity and Expression

High-control organizations prescribe identities to their members, leaving little room for self-expression or discovery. As a child, I was forced to wear clothes I hated, such as long skirts (never pants) that swept the floor in length. My parents made sure that I was painfully modest, wearing baggy shirts that covered any indication that I was a woman, including my collarbone. At the large HCO conferences my family frequented, we had to wear white tops and long navy skirts. The message to me as a woman was clear: ‘cover up, sit down, shut up.’ I am thrilled to say that I overthrew their control, and today I enjoy putting outfits together that express who I am. I dress in vibrant colors and patterns, and even sport blue hair. These little things express my freedom as an individual; they bring me joy and, in a way, make up for lost time. I learned, through contrast, that true community embraces individual expression and differences. In a good community, you can be yourself, because conformity isn’t a value or a virtue.

Leadership and Power

In a healthy community, leadership styles are transparent, service-oriented, and accountable. High control organizations are authoritarian, hierarchical, and unquestionable. The leader of our HCO was not a musician, but he would put families on a pedestal if they were. They were treated with more respect and admiration than other members of the organization. Until they slipped up, of course, if one member of the family committed some faux pas, they were publicly shamed, shunned, and/or banished from the graces of the HCO. To this day, I don’t enjoy being placed on a pedestal for any reason, especially music. While I believe that music is a gift to be shared, I refuse to believe that I am ‘special’ because I’m a musician.

Information and Education

Access to information is, undeniably, a fundamental human right. In a healthy community, that right is expressed through open communication and transparency as well as access to all information. This was not my experience growing up in a high-control organization. All children were restricted to be “homeschooled” for all 12 grades and even beyond. I put the word homeschooled in quotation marks to avoid confusion. I did not receive a proper education. 

My days were spent absorbing propaganda released by the high-control organization. This propaganda was designed to distort our thinking by twisting history, science, or any other “school” subject into wild and wrong teachings for us to assimilate into our lives. When I wasn’t busy poring over propaganda, I was taught to read, write, and perform simple arithmetic. That’s all. When it came time for me to learn algebra, I didn’t understand what the book was telling me, and I went to my mother and asked to be placed in tutoring. Her response aligned with the HCO’s teaching; she ripped the book out of my hands and said, “One day you are going to be a wife and a mother; you don’t need to learn algebra.” At the age of thirty, I enrolled in community college, received some tutoring, and crushed four semesters of algebra, a fact that still makes me proud today. 

My mother’s censorship reached into what we read as well as what we watched. Each book that entered our house had to be approved by both my parents and the high-control organization. Once, I was given a Molly American Girl Doll book. My parents declared it evil and threw it out the day I got it. Most books I wanted to read got thrown out. We were, instead, encouraged to read about Christian martyrs, all of them coated with the subtextual suggestion that I would perhaps one day face the same fate. While I hope most parents would protect their young children from witnessing violence in movies, my parents were obsessed with it. I was banned from watching Disney movies (I saw my first one at the age of 21), but I was encouraged to watch Christians being burned at the stake (because that might be me one day). My earliest memory of films is watching a movie about Dutch nazi resistor Corrie ten Boom and her time in a concentration camp – incredibly violent, and totally inappropriate for a six-year-old. Instead of having access to age-appropriate material for learning and growing, I was being inundated with frightening messages about what my future would hold. Fear is the glue that holds high-control organizations together.

In a high-control organization, information is controlled, restricted, or distorted in some way. It might not look exactly like my story. Still, censorship and the fear of information are a dark road meant to keep people ingesting pre-selected information while discouraging critical thinking.

Freedom of Thought

Freedom of thought is essential to healthy communities; these communities encourage questioning, critical thinking, and dialogue. In a high-control organization, doubt, dissent, or independent thinking is discouraged and even punished. Thinking for myself was considered dangerous because groupthink was the only acceptable way to exist in the high-control organization. As a Christian, I was heavily shamed for asking questions and threatened with ostracism from my church and the HCO. 

Leaving the Trap

That being said, my diaries were my place of refuge. I wrote endless questions in there, and I compared what I was experiencing in my family to other families or individuals I encountered. I felt safe writing in these diaries because no one ever read them. I was able to think critically about all my experiences, and even at the tender age of ten, I was aware that something in my little world wasn’t quite right. 

Often, people ask me, “How did you get out?” The answer starts with those diaries and a kids’ radio program that depicted children who liked being near their parents (shocker) because their parents were kind to them. I was afraid of my parents. To me, these programs were a stark contrast to the way I was being raised, and I started journaling, ‘Do I deserve to be treated better?’ Eventually, I came to the conclusion that my parents were never going to care for, protect, or provide for me the way I needed. When two of my brothers planned to move out, I moved out with them. 

Building True Community

The ramifications of leaving both the family and the high-control organization were daunting. I was threatened with excommunication, and while that was painful, it no longer felt like annihilation because I was ready to start creating a community of my own. Eventually, I learned through trial and error that the best communities are the ones you forge on your own, not pre-packaged ones that offer instant friendships, pre-made activities, and, eventually, a boatload of hidden rules and restrictions. Today my community is thriving. I have friends and family who are close to me; we stay in regular contact, and together we support each other through all of life’s ups and downs. I am open and friendly with many people, but I have a close circle of friends who are my ride-or-die. I’m thrilled that that circle of friends does not have a leader lording themselves over us. It feels good to be free.

What I’ve noticed about belonging and inclusion is that while high-control organizations accept people conditionally based on conformity and a twisted sense of loyalty, healthy communities base them on empathy, diversity, inclusion, and respect. Today, I get to choose the people in my circle. We laugh, cry, and grow together. There is no hierarchy, no hidden rules, no fear. Just connection. That’s what community should be.

Coming and Going

So if high-control organizations are so awful, why do people join? Answer? They don’t. No one wakes up one day and says, “I wanna join a cult” or “I want someone else to prescribe my identity” or “I want some leader to dictate everything I do.” People don’t willingly or naturally give up their freedoms. There are well-defined psychological, physical, emotional, and social manipulations that lure people into these organizations. In the beginning, it’s all very exciting because we think we’ve found our tribe.  Only time reveals the trap: HCOs want to use you and discard you. When it comes to exits and boundaries, an HCO will leave you feeling discouraged, shamed, or punished. Sometimes, the threat of losing everyone in the group is a powerful manipulation to make you stay. However, healthy groups allow people to leave freely without stigma or threats.

What About You?

College is often a time of transition, self-discovery, and searching for belonging. You might meet groups that promise friendship, meaning, grandiose purpose, and “instant community,” but it’s important to pause and think critically. Healthy communities celebrate your individuality, encourage your questions, and let you come and go freely. High-control organizations, on the other hand, disguise control as care and conformity as commitment. Before giving away your trust, ask yourself: Can I be fully myself here? Can I speak up, disagree, or walk away without fear or shame? If the answer is no, then it’s not a tribe, it’s a trap. You deserve relationships and spaces where your freedom, curiosity, and identity are safe. True community doesn’t require you to shrink, it helps you grow. In the end, the difference between a tribe and a trap is freedom – the freedom to think, to question, to express, and to leave. True community doesn’t demand your loyalty; it earns your trust and your love.

If you are caught up in a high-control organization, remember there is hope, help, and resources on the other side. There are many people (including me) waiting to support and encourage you on your journey to find a healthy community. Leaving is hard; it’s easy to feel really alone, especially if your family or close friends stay in the HCO. But I’d encourage you to remember that your journey is just starting. The world is full of many people waiting to connect with you. Get some support, tell your story, and stay free.

Resources

International Cultic Studies Association https://www.icsahome.com/

Freedom of Mind Resource Center (founded by Steven Hassan, cult expert and former member of the Moonies)

 freedomofmind.com

The Open Minds Foundation

openmindsfoundation.org

Focuses on education and awareness about undue influence, manipulation, and coercive control.

This summer, UMBC is teaming up with the Maryland Department of Disabilities to upgrade nine teaching labs in the Meyerhoff Chemistry Building—marking a major step in fostering inclusive STEM education. The goal: ensure all students, including wheelchair users and those with various disabilities, can fully participate in core chemistry and biochemistry courses.

What's Changing in the Labs?

• Wheelchair-accessible sinks, fume hoods, lab benches, and cabinets

• Lowered equipment stations for independent use

• A research lab redesigned for accessible hands-on experience

Lecture Hall Upgrades Include:

• Wheelchair-accessible seating in multiple locations with fold-down tablets

• TV monitors for better visibility for low-vision students

• Standing desks and seating variations for diverse body types, pregnant students, and orthopedic needs

• Assisted listening tech and designated interpreter areas for students who are Deaf or hard of hearing

Additional accessibility projects include:

• Restroom renovations in the Biological Sciences Building

• Elevator upgrades across multiple academic buildings

“The Office of Accessibility & Disability Services greatly values our longstanding partnership with Facilities Management to assist us in the mission of inclusive access and elimination of barriers for all UMBC community members,” says Tawny McManus, Assistant Vice President for Accessibility.

Learn how these changes are reshaping inclusion in STEM at UMBC: Read more here.

As we begin this new semester, we want to highlight a few key updates and resources to help you support our students with disabilities. Here's what you need to know:

• Updated Spring 2025 Memo: The new memo for working with SDS and supporting students with disabilities is now available on our SDS Faculty Resources Webpage. 

• Recording of 1/29 Faculty Session: If you missed our session "I Got an Accommodation Letter, Now What?", we're uploading the recording to our Faculty Blackboard organization shell, where you'll find additional resources. Access the session recording by self-enrolling in our Blackboard Shell.

• Upcoming Events: We encourage you to participate in the following events throughout the semester:

  • Accessibility Walk & Roll Tours (monthly)
  • Assistive Technology Demos (monthly)
  • Inclusive Excellence in Action: A session on Disability Awareness and Inclusion will be held on April 8th.

• Join the Sunflower Initiative: Be part of supporting students with hidden disabilities. Learn more and get involved here.

• Look Ahead: Stay tuned for our upcoming Faculty Accessibility Challenge, which will help raise awareness and highlight best practices in accessibility.

• Testing Services Reminder: Our testing hours and location remain the same. 

• Location: Math/Psychology Building, Room 212 and UC Testing Room
• Monday, Thursday, & Friday: 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM
• Tuesday & Wednesday: 9:00 AM - 6:00 PM

Please remind students to schedule their accommodated exams and tests in advance to ensure a smooth process.

Thank you for your continued support and commitment to creating an inclusive environment for all students! We look forward to working with you this semester.

The Women’s Center was excited to see four of the Returning Adult Learners scholarship recipients graduate at the end of the Fall 2024 semester! 

Returning Adult Learners are identified as undergraduate students over 25 seeking their first undergraduate degree. The Returning Adult Learners Program at the Women’s Center offers monthly workshops and programs focused on the academic, personal, and professional aspects of life as returning students. Newly this semester the Women’s Center also hosted community-building programming in partnership with the Division of Student Affairs Adult Learners Office including two adult learners mixers with breakfast and lunch! 

The experience of being an Adult Learner is unique. Many adult learners navigate the challenges of academics along with the responsibilities of families and full-time employment. One of the graduates shared “My journey at UMBC as an adult learner has been both challenging and deeply rewarding. Balancing the demands of school, work, and family life has pushed me to my limits, but it’s also been a transformative experience. I’ve had to overcome obstacles that tested my resilience, yet every challenge has made me stronger and more determined… Being at UMBC has been more than just an academic pursuit—it’s been a journey of personal growth and self-discovery. I’ve found a supportive community that recognizes and values the unique perspective of adult learners like me. The lessons I’ve learned extend far beyond the classroom, shaping me into a more compassionate, driven, and empowered individual…While the road hasn’t been easy, the sense of accomplishment I feel, knowing I’m paving the way as the first in my family to earn a bachelor’s degree, makes every late night, early morning, and sacrificed moment worth it. It’s a journey I’m proud to call my own, and one I hope will inspire others to chase their dreams, no matter the challenges.”

This semester’s graduates included Asjad, Matthew, Maria Eligio, and Ayanna Martin (some last names are left out for anonymity). They studied Media and Communication, Geography and Environmental Studies, Spanish Language and Linguistics, Latin American History, and Management of Aging Services. One graduate, in addition to her BA, also received a certificate in intercultural communication.

The graduates of this semester shared some of their advice for other Returning Adult Learners: 

“Don’t be judgmental, you were also a mess when you were younger… Don’t follow the majority’s example and just exist through your classes. Lead by example and be involved, participate and build relationships with your professors…”

“Don’t forget why you started. The journey can be rough, but it will make the rest of life easier…I had a lot of hardships during my time in college. Life doesn’t just stop. Make sure you have a strong support system or something else to help you drive or it will be too easy to give up.”

“My experience as an adult learner was a rollercoaster. I struggled to keep myself motivated and I had to juggle [with] many other responsibilities. Although it was tough I know this has shaped me into a better person… You only fail if you don’t try and you have to believe in yourself.”

“To current returning adult learners, my advice is this: embrace the journey with courage, patience, and faith in your abilities. Returning to school as an adult is not easy—you’ll face challenges that test your resilience and time management skills. But remember, your unique life experiences are your greatest strengths…Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Build a network of professors, advisors, and peers who support your goals. Take advantage of every resource your school offers, whether it’s tutoring, counseling, or career services… Be kind to yourself. Juggling school, work, and family is tough, but every step forward is a victory. Celebrate those small wins and remind yourself of the bigger picture: you’re doing this to build a better future for yourself and those you love…Above all, don’t give up. Your presence in the classroom proves that it’s never too late to dream and achieve. Stay focused, trust the process, and know that your hard work will pay off in ways you can’t yet imagine. You’ve got this!” 

The Women’s Center is very proud of the graduates as they embark on journeys toward graduate school and employment. We also look forward to deepening our relationships with the Returning Adult Learners still seeking their degrees as we move into the Spring semester!

For more information about the RAL Scholars program reach out to the Womens Center at womenscenter@umbc.edu. 

RAL Scholars meeting Dr. Freeland, Interim Dean and Vice Provost for Undergraduate Academic Affairs during the Fall Orientation

Because femininity is a concept, it can be constantly reshaped, redefined, and distorted based on the beliefs of the society it exists within, and social media works to heighten and mirror that. As a young, Black queer woman navigating both the virtual and physical world, I am able to notice and reflect on instances where social media becomes a space of healing for certain groups, but not others. Across numerous social media platforms, we’ve seen a rise in “girlhood” related trends. From girl dinner to girl math, a curated glimpse into what it means to be a “girl” is flooding our senses and our timelines. While the inherent satirical nature of the trend can be harmless and even beneficial from the surface, as someone who identifies as a woman and sometimes even a girl I am able to see and experience how the trend works to support and promote undertones of exclusivity apparent in Western society. 

I want to make an important distinction between how the trend looks and what it communicates. I’ve always been a “girly girl” at heart, it’s a way of embracing femininity that feels comfortable for me, so visually I should relate to a trend built on a hyperfeminine, pink-clad life, right? But I don’t, and that is what compelled me to think more critically and write about this topic. I didn’t see myself reflected in this trend and I feel like I’m not the only one. When I look through videos of girlhood on social media, I am often fed a very idealized image. White, heterosexual, cis-gendered, and able-bodied. This perception of femininity being promoted is one that speaks and appeals to a very specific and very Westernized idea of beauty. For women like me, who were once girls like me, this representation can be jarring. It not only feels like our unique experiences don’t belong in public view but that we should try to conform or assimilate to the experiences being shown to us. For girls like me, social media doesn’t always offer room to express our girlhood in a way that feels right, especially not in a widespread or public manner. Instead, there’s an unspoken pressure to conform to this widely celebrated form of femininity and for those who don’t fit in that box, their experiences are erased. Also, girlhood, like most other trends and phenomena on social media, is heavily commodified, and it always has been. So not only am I being sold a hyperspecific, hyperbolized version of femininity, but it’s one I don’t even identify or relate to. I completely understand the positive aspects of the trend but I also can’t help but approach it with apprehension because of the disappointing tendency the media has of generalizing or erasing my experiences as a Black woman. Because of that, I can’t be surprised that I’m seeing the same thing happen here, but instead of my current experiences as a Black woman, it’s my past experiences as a Black girl.

In my AFST 460 course, Black Hair and Body Politics (highly recommended!) we talk about the concept of the “other”. The other is determined because they are different from what is considered the hegemonic norm. In girlhood and femininity, the norm is white Eurocentric experiences of girlhood, and as a result, all WOC and what we experience are labeled as the other. When you’re the other, there is something inherently wrong with you, how you live, and what you experience. I can’t help but feel as though these trends think there is something wrong with my Blackness and my Black girlhood. There is so much to my girlhood that I value and cherish, like the memories of sitting in my mom’s lap for hours while she braided my hair, visiting my family in the UK, early RnB and funk music, and so much more. I haven’t seen this trend celebrate common aspects of the Black girlhood experience unless it is a Black woman herself making space for it. To me, that isn’t fair. If we’re celebrating girlhood, shouldn’t we celebrate all types of girlhood? My girlhood is shaped by my culture and heritage and that doesn’t always align with the trends that dominate my timeline, and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. 

In the eyes of this trend, there is only one way to be feminine and only one way to heal your inner girl, and if you’re not doing it that way you’re doing it wrong. I urge anyone who relates to this post to appreciate the uniqueness of your girlhood and how it has been impacted by your identity and surroundings. Reclaiming your girlhood doesn’t automatically mean completely conforming to or rejecting mainstream trends, but embracing the beauty of difference. For me, reclaiming my girlhood means doing my hair myself, it reminds me of the bonds I made with my mom when she did it for me. For me, it means listening to the same ’80s and ’90s RnB and funk music my mom used to blast every Saturday morning. These experiences define my girlhood and it wouldn’t be fair to try and apply them to every other woman in the world. That’s my primary issue with this trend, it had so much potential to celebrate the inherent diversity in upbringing. We all have different backgrounds and our girlhoods looked different because of that, regardless we are connected in that we were all girls. Instead, this trend chooses to uplift one version of girlhood and completely exclude all others. There is inherent value in all forms of girlhood, even the ones that aren’t popularized or commodified.

While it is upsetting that yet again women of color are forced to carve out spaces for ourselves within popular media trends, there is still power in reclaiming your girlhood, whatever that means for you. The trend shouldn’t be about commodification or fitting into aesthetic boxes, but celebrating your roots and healing your inner child. There is no one way to be a girl. Girlhood and womanhood are messy, hectic, and beautifully diverse and that is what the trend should be celebrating. Girlhood, like all trends, is fun and fleeting. Despite this, it’s important to recognize how they can be used to perpetuate exclusion and marginalization. For those who fit inside the box this trend has popularized, think critically about the media you’re consuming, and how it might be impacting those who look different from you. For those of us on the outside of mainstream definitions of “girlhood”, it is important to remember our stories, our youth, and our identities are just as valuable –because at our core, we are all just a girl.