by David Hoffman
Here are the rest of the life lessons I mentioned last week: things I had not yet worked out or did not feel confident about when I was in college, but began to gain clarity about later. Many of these observations also have been made by others, but I came to them through my own experiences.
The observations on this list are more recent than the ones on the previous list (generally from when I was my mid-30s, rather than my late 20s). Maybe for that reason, they feel a little less urgent to me; more philosophical, and less about surviving the day-to-day. What kind of list would I come up with now, in my (gulp) late 40s? Excellent question. I hereby challenge myself to develop that list in the coming year.
Here are the rest of the life lessons I mentioned last week: things I had not yet worked out or did not feel confident about when I was in college, but began to gain clarity about later. Many of these observations also have been made by others, but I came to them through my own experiences.
The observations on this list are more recent than the ones on the previous list (generally from when I was my mid-30s, rather than my late 20s). Maybe for that reason, they feel a little less urgent to me; more philosophical, and less about surviving the day-to-day. What kind of list would I come up with now, in my (gulp) late 40s? Excellent question. I hereby challenge myself to develop that list in the coming year.
26.
Criticism reveals and reflects upon the critic.
Co-Create UMBC is a blog for and about UMBC, written by David Hoffman and Craig Berger from UMBC Student Life. Join the Co-Create UMBC group on MyUMBC. Like Co-Create UMBC on Facebook. And follow David and Craig on Twitter.
College is not merely preparation for life. It is life.
27.
People always respond to the entire context of a communication, not just to the words it contains.
28.
29.
In-the-moment negative emotions such as guilt or fear can be extremely useful in illuminating a situation. They can provide clues about the motives, understandings, insecurities and emotional states of other people, especially those whose behavior is sparking the negative emotions. They can deepen self-understanding. The trick is to learn to read these emotions without either suppressing or being overwhelmed by them.
30.
Sometimes the hardest thing in the world to see is what is right in front of you.
31.
People sometimes view choices you make for yourself, but which they would not (or did not) make for themselves, as judgments against them. This is all the more true if the path you choose is one which, at some level, they regret not having chosen. It is easy to be confused by their resulting hostile reactions, but it would be a mistake to be deterred by them.
32.
Every new insight subtly alters your knowledge and perspective about everything you thought you already knew. Each new experience subtly alters your perspective on every aspect of your past.
33.
You aren’t really from somewhere until you go somewhere else.
34.
Changing the world for the better does not mean seeking a stable point beyond which the world stops changing. People need to be involved in ongoing, challenging, cooperative work to advance the common good. An essential aspect of being human is confronting and contributing to the mitigation of life’s imperfections.
35.
Love involves giving and receiving permission to be who you truly are.
36.
A mouse trapped in a maze never sees the maze, only a series of straight paths and corners.
37.
Knowledge derived from breaking things or processes down into their smallest component parts is incomplete. It excludes the broadest patterns, most subtle and profound connections and deepest meanings.
38.
All people yearn, at some level, to become whole, connect authentically with the universe, be who they really are and fulfill their potential.
39.
What feels like inability and weakness may actually be undiscovered or unrevealed talent and strength.
40.
Winning an argument is not the same thing as achieving progress toward the objective at the heart of the argument. Sometimes winning an argument can hinder such progress.
41.
Staying too close to an admired person for too long can stunt one’s growth. When the admired person is nearby, adopting the person’s admirable behaviors and thought processes may feel presumptuous or unnecessary.
42.
All conscious perceptions involve value judgments and assumptions, as do all descriptions of things or situations in the world. No word can precisely express any objective meaning.
43.
A part of the judgment involved in human perceptions is the filtering and prioritization of inputs. In order to focus on the highest-priority information, people take vast portions of their experiences and environments for granted. They adapt to their environments unconsciously, absorbing and relying on a common set of values and assumptions, some of which they might reject if they ever became fully aware of them.
44.
Instincts, intuitions, emotions and dreams are extremely important sources of knowledge. The knowledge they reveal is intrinsic: located within the unconscious mind and relatively untainted by conditioning. Much intrinsic knowledge relates to people’s own true identities and deepest yearnings. The suppression of intrinsic knowledge causes depression and anxiety, and stunts personal growth.
45.
Symbols need not take the form of words, numbers and pictures. All things, people, actions and failures to act are symbols. Symbols can reveal fundamental truths because the unconscious mind invokes intrinsic knowledge to decode them.
46.
The contributions of the greatest scientists, poets, authors, artists, builders and leaders change not just our experience but our capacity to imagine. As a result of great works, there are more available thoughts.
Great teachers empower students to think new thoughts, and expand the scope of their free will.
Excellent teaching is not primarily about transmitting academic content from the mind of the teacher to the mind of the student, but about liberating knowledge and capacities already present in the student.
True teaching transforms the teacher. True leadership transforms the leader. True love transforms the lover. True life is transformation.
While I challenge myself to write my third list of observations, I challenge you too: Write your own list, and share it when you do! Let's help each other figure things out. And if you're ready to share an observation now, put it in a comment on this post!
47.
48.
49.
While I challenge myself to write my third list of observations, I challenge you too: Write your own list, and share it when you do! Let's help each other figure things out. And if you're ready to share an observation now, put it in a comment on this post!
Co-Create UMBC is a blog for and about UMBC, written by David Hoffman and Craig Berger from UMBC Student Life. Join the Co-Create UMBC group on MyUMBC. Like Co-Create UMBC on Facebook. And follow David and Craig on Twitter.
Previous post: Real People Profiles: Rubin Waranch
