Officials at the University of Maryland College Park have launched a campaign to designate the campus as the "Admiral" of the University System of Maryland. University leaders argue that the term "flagship" does not adequately convey the institution's superiority to other campuses. "A flagship is just another ship plodding across a body of water," claimed Senny Crane, a member of the university president's staff. "An admiral, by contrast, is a commander of personnel, vessels, equipment and munitions. There's a certain majesty there. You think of someone indestructible, like Admiral James T. Kirk in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. And the truth is, we have beamed up, and we are traveling at warp speed."
While College Park's move appears to have the support of many alumni, leaders at other state schools responded with less enthusiasm. Speaking off the record, an official at one nearby university expressed pride in her institution's quirky charm and the diversity and intelligence of its students. "At my institution, we like to say it's cool to be smart, and we appreciate the many ways students, faculty, staff and alumni work together to build this community. Education on this campus is not about mass production and consumption." Asked if she was concerned that this mindset might contribute to her campus being perceived as an underdog, the official winked and replied, "Woof!"
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