myUMBC Fanfic: The Numerous Tomfooleries of Erik Walker
Chapter One: All's Fair in Love and More
posted about 12 years ago
The Numerous Tomfooleries of Erik Walker and His Confederation of Bandits
Chapter One: All's Fair in Love and More
One day, the persnickety peach-like Erik set out to apprehend the school's hot-pocket burglar. His high school was a haven of debauchery and infidelity. It just so happened that hot pockets were his favorite American food and thus he embarked on a quest to apprehend the one who kept stealing the breaded pouches of ham and cheese that he so lusted for. He walked down the hallway and used his sleuthing skills to eventually deduce that it was Greg, his intolerable bag of a rival that was instigating these thefts. Erik eventually confronted Greg over this inhuman crime once the school day was over. Greg was standing by the flag pole reading Atlas Shrugged. Erik had just about enough but had to know his motive. "Why? Why would you take that which giveth me such divine pleasure?" he inquired. "I believe you just answered your own question, bitch." Greg threw the book as it became a projectile fireball. Erik back-flipped out of its path, but by the time he landed, Greg was engulfed in flames. Erik considered fighting back, but had no way of countering his powers of immolation. Suddenly, he heard a husky voice from off in the distance. "Hey Erik, water you waiting for?" He turned to see his associate, Christina, wielding a fire hose. She raised it up and fired it at full blast. The high pressure stream caught Greg head-on and he collapsed soaked and naked from having his clothes burned off. Erik and Christina approached the crumpled mess and interrogated him. "Hot pockets. Where they at?" Greg pointed at a crate not twenty feet away and began to focus on it. It began to smoke and the contents exploded into the air. "If I can't have them, no one can!" Erik stared into the sky with his mouth agape until he unintentionally caught one in his mouth. He lorded over his rival the taste of victory. All of a sudden, a bright flash caught the three by surprise. From the hole of light erupted Colin, Erik's main squeeze, on a bitchin' futuristic motorcycle. Looking deadly serious, he made a profound declaration. "You three, we have to travel to the past to save the future!" "Right on!" Christina responded, "But there's only room for two on your hog!" Two sidecars materialized on each side of the vehicle. Christina, Erik and even Greg boarded the monstrosity. Greg was no longer nude as his gang of personal fire gremlins brought in a a silver speedsuit designed to withstand the flames. He kissed each of them goodbye and told them that they could experience freedom until he makes it back. Colin braced for another trip through time and space. "First stop, San Fernando, 1951!" The quartet blasted off into another time rip, expecting yet another interesting narrative device. Let's hope they're not disappointed!
Chapter One: All's Fair in Love and More
One day, the persnickety peach-like Erik set out to apprehend the school's hot-pocket burglar. His high school was a haven of debauchery and infidelity. It just so happened that hot pockets were his favorite American food and thus he embarked on a quest to apprehend the one who kept stealing the breaded pouches of ham and cheese that he so lusted for. He walked down the hallway and used his sleuthing skills to eventually deduce that it was Greg, his intolerable bag of a rival that was instigating these thefts. Erik eventually confronted Greg over this inhuman crime once the school day was over. Greg was standing by the flag pole reading Atlas Shrugged. Erik had just about enough but had to know his motive. "Why? Why would you take that which giveth me such divine pleasure?" he inquired. "I believe you just answered your own question, bitch." Greg threw the book as it became a projectile fireball. Erik back-flipped out of its path, but by the time he landed, Greg was engulfed in flames. Erik considered fighting back, but had no way of countering his powers of immolation. Suddenly, he heard a husky voice from off in the distance. "Hey Erik, water you waiting for?" He turned to see his associate, Christina, wielding a fire hose. She raised it up and fired it at full blast. The high pressure stream caught Greg head-on and he collapsed soaked and naked from having his clothes burned off. Erik and Christina approached the crumpled mess and interrogated him. "Hot pockets. Where they at?" Greg pointed at a crate not twenty feet away and began to focus on it. It began to smoke and the contents exploded into the air. "If I can't have them, no one can!" Erik stared into the sky with his mouth agape until he unintentionally caught one in his mouth. He lorded over his rival the taste of victory. All of a sudden, a bright flash caught the three by surprise. From the hole of light erupted Colin, Erik's main squeeze, on a bitchin' futuristic motorcycle. Looking deadly serious, he made a profound declaration. "You three, we have to travel to the past to save the future!" "Right on!" Christina responded, "But there's only room for two on your hog!" Two sidecars materialized on each side of the vehicle. Christina, Erik and even Greg boarded the monstrosity. Greg was no longer nude as his gang of personal fire gremlins brought in a a silver speedsuit designed to withstand the flames. He kissed each of them goodbye and told them that they could experience freedom until he makes it back. Colin braced for another trip through time and space. "First stop, San Fernando, 1951!" The quartet blasted off into another time rip, expecting yet another interesting narrative device. Let's hope they're not disappointed!
(edited about 12 years ago)
